Tonight You're Coming Home to Me
by flyingplumtree
Summary: "Every second here without you feels like division of the heart. I've been holding on for so long."


Gou remembered the day Rin announced to her that he was going to Australia.

"I'm going to follow Oyaji's dream. I'm leaving Japan. …Hey, stop crying. I'm gonna be back soon, okay? I promise, I'll be back. I'm doing it for Oyaji."

After he left, she called him every day. He always answered between the first and second ring. She missed him, but she didn't worry. After all, he promised he'd be back soon. Whenever she found herself missing him, she'd go in his room and sit at his desk or look through his things. Sometimes she'd even take a nap in his bed. Somehow, it made her feel closer to her.

After a few months, he stopped answering between the first and second ring. He started answering at the third ring. Then the fourth. Then the fifth. And then he stopped answering at all. Of course she'd always leave a voicemail for him, but that eventually stopped too. Not because she ran out of things to tell him, but just because she felt like it was pointless. She didn't even think he was opening the voicemails. Gou kept telling herself, "He said he'd be back soon." But "soon" quickly started to seem like forever, especially for a little girl with no concept of time.

At the beginning of her first year of high school, Matsuoka Rin returns to Japan. Gou feels the excitement bubbling in her stomach, but for some reason she feels the need to keep it in. When she and her mom arrive at the airport for him, she's so ready to happily greet him and run into his arms. The entire way to the terminal, her head is filled with happy scenarios of finally being reunited with her brother, but his greeting is different than anything she'd imagine. It's quiet, brief, and cold. "Hey." One word slips out of his mouth, accompanied by a short nod. She offers a meek smile.

The trip to the Samezuka Academy dorm was awkward. Rin and Gou both stared out the window until they begin driving by the ocean, when Gou turns her head away from the window, and towards her brother. She can't help but notice that he's still looking out, and her heart burns when she sees this. The girl pulls her red ponytail over her shoulder, closes her eyes, leans her head back and falls asleep.

When Gou wakes up, she realizes she's already home, and she missed watching him get dropped off at his new dorm. Slowly, she makes her way inside her house, but instead of going straight to her room, she goes straight to his. She kneels down next to his bed and buries her face in its softness. Matsuoka Rin is barely Matsuoka Rin anymore. He isn't the same Onii-chan she used to know. Tears pool in her eyes and trail down her cheeks to the corners of her mouth. The taste reminds her of the ocean she hates, the ocean that killed her father, and she cries even more.

Gou doesn't contact Rin again until she joins the Iwatobi Swim Club.

"onii-chan, i joined the iwatobi swim club with haruka-senpai, makoto-senpai and nagisa-kun! ヘ(^o^ヘ)"

He never replied.

"hi hi onii-chan! we got a new member and we're going to prefecturals ƪ(˘⌣˘)┐"

No response.

"onii-chan what happened to you? i miss you"

Gou entered her locker combination after class, just in time to hear her phone buzz. She figured it was Nagisa, asking why she was late to practice. She ignored the text until after she closed her locker and began walking towards the pool. When she finally opened the text, it wasn't Nagisa.

"Please come to my room anytime."

That text was all she needed to make her forget all about practice, and send her running to the train station to get to Samezuka.

She ran from the station to the academy, red hair trailing behind her. Gou reached the front desk of the dorm, panting and out of breath. The man working the desk wondered why she was so out of breath, and normally she would've been embarrassed, but right now she didn't care. He asked for her name and ID card. "Matsuoka Kou," she said. It didn't match the name on her ID, but it was close enough that he didn't notice.

When she got the OK, she walked up a few flights of stairs until she got to his room. She reached out to knock, but she suddenly froze. She was nervous. Finally, she had what she wanted for so long, to talk to her brother, and now that she had the chance, she felt like she couldn't do it. But she knew she had to, so she slowly started moving her small fist towards the door. _A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. _Just a little bit more. _Knock, knock._

The time it took for him to answer felt like an eternity. Her heart was pounding the entire time. And finally,

"Hey, Gou."

How long had it been since she'd heard her name come out of his mouth? His voice was much deeper, but it was still his. She'd started telling people to call her Kou, but it was Rin, so it didn't matter. He could call her anything and she would be okay with it. Because it was him.

"Onii-chan…"

"Come in. You can sit on the bed if you want."

She sat on the bed with him and pulled her knees up to her chest. Overwhelmed with emotion, tears overflowed her eyes.

"…Hey, stop crying. C'mere."

He pulled her on his lap. The feeling felt so familiar to both of them.

"Remember when we were little and I used to hold you like this? When you were scared. … I know. You're really mad at me."

…

It was silent, except for the sound of her sniffles.

"I'm sorry. You don't have to say anything. You can cry if you want. But listen… I won't leave you again. I won't shut you out."

They stayed like that for a moment, before she shifted around and draped her arms around him. He stroked her hair.

"Your hair's grown. … Wait here. I'll go get you a drink, alright?"

He carefully scooted her off his lap. He slipped his shoes on and went downstairs to the vending machine. When he came back, he noticed that just in that short time, she had fallen asleep. He ran his fingers through his red hair and looked at her. Gou had grown up a lot since he last saw her. She was hardly the scrawny little thing that used to trail behind him. He gently shook her shoulders.

"Gou. Gou, wake up."

"Mmm… Onii-chan…"

She sat up and hugged him.

"Onii-chan, I missed you. I missed you so much."

"I missed you too. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

They stared at each other. And then leaned in towards each other. Slowly. And they did something that siblings don't usually do.

They kissed.

"Sorry, Gou."

"No. It's okay… you don't have to apologize."

And she leaned in and kissed him again.

"Mmmm…. it's late. You can sleep here tonight. I'll give you one of my shirts."

"Really!?" She threw her arms around him.

"Yeah. So hurry up and go to bed. There's a lot I need to tell you about in the morning."


End file.
